2013-09-24

[四十四] 音樂

Kinda Feeling Down
School is about to start in a couple days again (while all my friends in Utah are starting midterms..  xD  booyah) and, honestly, I'm just about having the most shittastic time of my life right now.  I've just never felt like this much of a failure 'till now.  It's been a long three and a half month summer of job applications for minimum wage positions, yet I only manage to land one interview, which apparently went really well, only to be turned down yesterday.  My money situation will only continue getting worse by the day, my focus in school is starting to be affected and now it seems like inexperienced high school kids are more able to land a job than I am.  To be honest, it's sort of depressing!  I'm not a usual moody type, and I can't help but think like this at the moment!   I mean, would it kill the balance of the universe to grant me even some small stroke of good luck this once?

Hell, why not?
I haven't written about my love life for a few months, so I guess I'll post a little update.  I've kind of had this on/off crush on a friend for the past couple months now.  I really don't know what I am to her.  You could say I'm a wimp that's afraid of heartbreak during those periods that I deny these feelings (The "off" part of on/off).  I don't necessarily struggle with confidence issues, I just harbor too much doubt and, thus, tend to assume the worst.  My first impression of her was sort of indifferent to be honest.  She's the type that most guys would chase for looks alone, and for all of freshman year I was very cautious around her so as to not fall for the trap.  hehe  Some freshman drama and unforeseen circumstances later though, we winded up being friends.  Despite my doubts though, I just feel so at ease around her; I don't enjoy conversations with anyone else more than I enjoy talking to her, and having her company sort of brightens my day.  Also she kind of has a really adorable laugh.  ahahaha "kay, that got a bit cheesy right there..  I'm pretty sure all this is kind of an open secret; there's a mutual friend that I'm almost certain has mentioned this at least a couple times.  I just never openly talk about it.  Either way though: god I hope she doesn't read this.. That would be sorta embarrassing.. Maybe it's better just to get it over with and openly admit it?  aiyaaaa Nothing about life is straightforward..

Musical
I've never realized what a sucker I am for music, at least until about a week ago that is.  I've been a musician since the 4th grade, I play four instruments and I spend a good couple hours every day just listening to music.  But never before have I been brought to tears by the opening theme music to a TV show..  (Until last week..  xD)  The animation for the opening is beautiful as is, but only the accompanying music could have my feels explode like that.  Indescribable.  Well I'm sure it's describable, I just need to work on my writing skills more.  That said, this short paragraph I farted out onto my computer screen really isn't doing the music video I'm trying to talk about any justice, so I'll cut it off here..

'Till the next time!

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