[十八] 恭喜發財

I wish I could write more often.. but I usually have time or creative ability to write as often as I like. Usually a page of writing can easily take me a couple of hours to write. Anyways, I don't know where I was going with that..


So this past Monday was New Year! At least it was if you happen to be Asian. Or a weird other that happens to follow the Lunar Calendar. 新年快樂，恭喜發財，紅包拿來。 Well, that last part stopped applying to me in 7th grade.. :( Just makes me feel older.










I've already sent in my applications to my major schools of choice: Stanford, UCLA, UC Berkeley, UC Irvine, and Yale. (That's right, I just used the Oxford Comma. Take That society..) The original plan was also to apply to BYU (Brigham Young University). However, I've decided, for several reasons, that I can no longer see myself going there as a full time student. First off, it's Not an anti-LDS (Mormon) thing. I have a deep respect for the Church. Plenty of my best friends and the nicest people I've met since moving to Utah have been LDS. Of course some of the craziest have also come from them. hahaha Of course that goes for any group of people though. xD (Jihadists, Crusaders, WBC, Robert Jeffress, get the point?) Anyways, my problems pretty much stem from what they call the Honor Code.


1: Dress and Grooming Standards


"Men: A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee-length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar, leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean-shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.


Women: A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee-length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles or colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than one per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas."






I don't really have much of a problem with this one. The only thing that bothers me about it is this standard of "modesty" in the culture; specifically the extreme to which some people I've met have taken it. I'm not implying that I feel everyone should suddenly go nudist or strip down. But if a girl wants to wear short shorts/skirt or form fitting clothes, why not let her? Clothes are clothes, and if you're the one to freak out and point out the "immodesty" to her, doesn't it just show that you always think of the smallest things sexually? 0__o Pervert..






2: Conduct


"Students must abstain from the use of alcohol, tobacco, and illegal substances and from the intentional misuse or abuse of any substance. Sexual misconduct; obscene or indecent conduct or expressions; disorderly or disruptive conduct; participation in gambling activities; involvement with pornographic, erotic, indecent, or offensive material; and any other conduct or action inconsistent with the principles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Honor Code is not permitted."






Again, I don't really have a problem with this one. Actually, not a problem at all. :D I just remember that when I moved here I found it kinda funny how tea (not explicitly mentioned above) was forbidden (since I pretty much grew up with it). 喝茶 ftw






3: Homosexual Behavior


"Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or attraction and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.


One's stated same-gender attraction is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior is inappropriate and violates the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings."


This is the One. The ultimate factor in my decision. Everything about these two paragraphs deeply disturbs me and screams homophobic. I recently asked a friend: What do you have against gay people? He told me: "I don't know. I think it's just wrong.." And I wonder if it's religion speaking? Either way, I don't blame him. That's simply how he was raised to think and thinking that way doesn't necessarily make him a bad person.




That being said, I do not happen to be gay. Or bisexual.. Feeling terrible that I even feel the need to "defend" myself.. but yea.. in case there were any questions coming out of that. ahaha






My solo piano recital finally came and passed. I went fine except for two major fails where I had to start over the song.. I felt like an idiot, especially since it went by perfectly fine during rehearsals. >__< I dedicated the recital, especially one of the pieces to five of my classmates that our school has lost this year.

Here's the piece:


Several family friends came. I think a couple of my classmate's families came. Quite a few friends also showed up. Some didn't show. :( (Gwenny if you read this, you're super lame coz you said you would come this time ahaha) (If Lily and Miranda happen to read this 我想念妳們了! :O 早日得再看對嗎?!) 喜歡的人也來了. >_^ And Cindy and Cynthia gave me a cow pillow pet that came with a cheesy poem that I totally love right now. xD It is "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!" soft! oo yea~ LOL To end this ridiculously long blog post: I named it (him?) Pomegranate. ;)

[十七] 如何告訴

這是我第一用漢字的次。 記得， 我的中文說/寫/看/聽/etc. 還不好了。 所以， 不要罵我好不好？ 這禮拜的故事： 就一個月前，我恐怕喜歡上我好朋友。我先告訴別的好朋友。 她先告訴我應該坦承了。 前此，每一我坦承了的次真壞結束了。 所以這次我當然就回答 "不可以!" 從那時間以後，她每天嘲笑我。 可是，我近來想啊想啊。 現在恐怕想要告訴她。 今年是我最後還是高中學生的的年。 無妨坦白了。 所以，我現在再想啊想啊。 我如何告訴朋友喜歡她? 每人一定從來問這個問題吧..

[十六] 新年快樂

As of now, it is year A.D. 2012.  I want to address a couple things.

Apocalypse Theorizers:

Nothing I write on a small personal blog with only 2 followers can probably change your thoughts on this, BUT I will write to you anyway.  First of all, if you believe that crap about the Mayan calendar, you're a lazy idiot who can't do his own research.  The Long Count calendar does Not end completely this year.  It simply begins a new cycle (which I realize means ending an old cycle so partial credit to you on that).  So heed my warning now.  Don't be like the Y2K "believers" who quit their jobs and sold everything for bomb shelters.  You will most likely regret it.  If you still refuse to listen..  well God help you..  xD

New Year Resolutions:

I'm pretty sure 99% of these actually end in miserable failure, or just plain forgotten about.  I don't remember what mine was from last year.  However, I DO remember remembering halfway through the year and thinking, "haha  forgot I even made that resolution."  The reason these fail for most people is because most people are way too vague about what exactly they are going to do to accomplish their goal.  Therefore, they may feel as if they are accomplishing something, but in reality they're just replacing old bad habits with new ones having similar effects.  xD  This year I will definitely try my hardest to stick to my resolution.  My resolution is this: No more missed assignments, especially in Calculus, sick/absent days excluded.  It's a specific enough goal and should have a decent motive to accomplish it.  It's not like my future could depend on that right? (<----sarcasm)

新年快樂:

In all my rant talk I forgot to say: Happy New Year!  It was almost my sister's birthday on January 1 so, 妹生日快樂!  :D   Yea, New Year's Day birthday, how lucky is that right?

My Problems (Feel free to skip reading this part.  It's not like I'll find out you skipped reading it and get offended right?):

FREAKING AP CALCULUS!!!   *ragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerage*  I like my new teacher but it doesn't help my situation when she isn't too sure about what to do on a lot of stuff still!  I did not particularly like my old teacher but i hatehatehate mid-year teacher changes!  They complicate everything.  >__<  It's currently the only class I'm struggling with, and the end of the semester is in 2.5 weeks.  Wish me LUCK.

High School Life in General:

I and a couple of friends are trying to get a Key Club founded in our school, since we unfortunately did not have one to begin with.  We had a meeting today after school about it finally.  Hopefully we have a good foundation for it to really kick off of next year.  Today I had band class and forgot my instrument at home.. So I did chores for my teacher.  He had me organize all the music sheets that got turned in from Christmas.  It was so Annoying!  It's actually someone's job on the band council to do it..  Who would Ever want to sign up for that?!  0_o  

I've also just realized, it's January and there has been no permanent snow all "winter".  I hate snow so I'm not complaining, but it's still pretty weird.  This better not mean snow in June.  -__-  Speaking of January.. MY SENIOR YEAR IS PRETTY MUCH HALFWAY DONE!  :O   That is super crazy to think about..

On a final unrelated school drama note:

I've been thinking about it a while, and I realize that I've developed a crush on someone I know..  So I told one of my best friends about it.  The next day she did what most best friends would do and TOTALLY BLACKMAILED ME ABOUT IT.  >:0    >:I   Wow.  hahaha  Thanks Khanh..  0__o

[十五] 從心裡

I have not written anything for almost a month.  For good reasons (college essays and applications).  (and life). (also because I'm a terrible writer and I haven't really thought of anything worth writing about).  That being said, I actually have no idea what I wanted to write about now.. So I'm actually just keeping whatever my fingers happen to type..

Hmm.. Ima write about my life for the past month of absence from this site.

1.- Two weeks ago I finally sent in my first applications to the University of California.  I applied for the Los Angeles, Berkeley and Irvine campuses.  Since they are already sent in, I'm going to go ahead and copy my essay prompts and responses here.

Prompt 1: "Describe the world you come from and tell us about how it has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

 I was born to immigrant parents of Chinese and Filipino ethnicity. Until I began my second year of school, I had a limited ability to speak the English language. Since those first years in Torrance, California, I have attended seven different schools, lived in three different cities and encountered people of many different backgrounds.

Emphasis on education, hard work and contribution to the greater good is the mark of the Chinese and Filipino cultures. From an early age, my father would buy several study aids in an attempt to push me ahead of my peers, despite my struggle with English. Even that changed in my second year of school, when I devoted myself to learning the language. I went as far as telling my parents that I did not want to speak Tagalog! Nevertheless, I still found it difficult to make new friends.

When first grade came I was transferred to a private Catholic school. Slowly, but surely, I made new friends and transformed into a much more outgoing child. I faced the challenge again in fourth grade when I transferred to a public school, and only four months into that school year, faced it again when I moved to a new city. Here, I came to know the first close friends I've ever had.

Moving to Utah was a large mountain to overcome. Eighth grade had just ended and I was informed that I was to spend yet another year in a middle school. I was in anguish about the sudden separation from my closest friends and the sight of my new classmates was the very definition of the term “culture shock”. Being exposed to the unfamiliar religion and the strange nondescript accent proved to be very intimidating. The kids here seemed almost too polite to me. Even so, I quickly adjusted and had made myself a good set of friends by the time I finally started high school.

The big move was an almost heartbreaking experience, so I felt very good about myself after completing the climb, like I could do anything. I had set my heart to overcoming the emotional mountain, which became the source of my inspiration to study psychology and aspire to become a school counselor. Looking back, I realize that I am grateful to have had the opportunity to interact with so many different communities. I have grown up in such a diverse world that I have come to know how to relate to almost anyone's experiences. In my quest to achieve my dreams still lies a long road ahead, a road that only a quality UC education can help me traverse.

At the end of this road, I hope to retire peacefully, knowing that I have touched the lives of many with the help of the knowledge gained from my time at the University of California.

Prompt 2: "Tell us about an achievement you are proud of and how it relates to the person you are."

 The final note resonated in the air, followed by brief silence and finally there was applause. This was the last competition of the season for the Copper Hills marching band. As we marched off the field, I could see that about a quarter of us had tears in our eyes, and I knew why. This was it. We had just played the final note of our high school marching career.

After putting nine years of hard work into the business, I could not have appreciated how much music meant to me any more than at that moment. Although I knew that the school year was still not over, and I would see most of these kids again in regular band class the following Monday, marching band had been such a significant chapter in the musical book of my life, that I was suddenly sorry to see the last of the pages slowly turning away.

I remember the fourth grade, when I first walked into Ms. Reeves' beginner band class. I remember the warm accomplished feeling of the first note forced out of my flute. From then on, I became dedicated to improving, becoming the first chair of the intermediate band in seventh grade. Eighth grade was the most memorable. I feel absolutely gifted to have been a part of the Brea Jr. High concert band. We took first place and superior ratings at each festival without fail.

I remember moving to West Hills Middle School in the ninth grade, feeling the crushing disappointment after seeing the quality of this new program compared to my old one, how disgusted I was with the amount of kids who couldn't even play scales. I had a similar reaction to the marching band in tenth grade. However, over the past four years, as I contributed more to the band, I saw amazing results. We went from the underrated forgettable band with poor equipment to the proud Marching Grizzlies who drew loud applause and even advanced to a new division. Watching this band grow helped me to better appreciate what I had before and proud of what I have now. We may not have been at the same level of my old school; we may not have taken first place at our last competition, but what I saw now was a transformed band that made me regret my first impressions. I am extremely proud to have taken a part in the rapid growth of this band.

Throughout my life, music has been my stress reliever, a source of inspiration, my favorite hobby and one of my greatest teachers. It has taught me discipline, dedication and humility. Without it I could not be the person I am today.

Actually, all of the application was done long before the essay was (remember I am pretty bad at writing).  At least it's submitted now.

2.- My high school's annual "Sub-4-Santa" charity fundraiser has started again!  :D  At this fundraiser, each school club sells a certain product or service that is either bought and resold or made by them.  All of the money made from the fundraisers is then used to buy Christmas presents and everyday necessities for the families in need around our community.  Well this is the first year our Chinese club is even in existence, so we have very few members and we aren't likely to raise too much money.  However, the deal is they get to bleach my hair if we happen to raise at least $100 on our first year.  Heh..  I think blonde hair would look terrible on me..  but it's for the Children!  ^__^  (Send a check to Copper Hills High School)

3.- Copper Hills Winter Drumline has officially started!  My audition was terrible, I haven't found the time to practice a lot in a couple weeks.  Yet, somehow I still got the snare drum part, which I am very excited about.  More on that to come.

4.- My Calculus AB teacher, Ms. Harmon, has gotten a promotion!  Which means she left our class this week, for good.  Her teaching style didn't exactly suit me.. but what's kind of stressful is that none of the replacement teachers have EVER taught AP Calculus before.  Methinks this years pass rate for our school is going to be lower than usual.  hahaha  jk I have faith in my new teacher.

5.- A couple days ago, on the way home, my friend happened to mention in passing, "I know someone likes you."  0__o  "I don't know what she sees in you."  >__<   Well thanks, what a way to lighten my self esteem..  hahaha   I hate when people say this kind of thing, especially if they don't plan to say who it is.  That being said, if she was trying to instill curiosity, then it was kinda successful..  It's more of an afterthought in the back of my head right now.  (Like: "Who could it be?" or "This could be a load of BS  hahaha.")  But I have to admit, I am a bit curious, like a normal human being would be.  Thing is, I've had a crush on a girl right now (well for a while now).  Lately though, I've been getting unsure.  And it's not like THAT kind of "unsure".  It's more explained by: "I do really like her.  But lately I feel like I really don't have a chance at all."  :I   High school drama?   hahaha

This post is really long.  So the two followers and anyone else who happens to read this probably can't count on a new post anytime soon.  xD  Probably not until after Christmas..  and now is when I finally think of a generic title for this post.. and now I write bye, click "publish" and sign off.  Bye.

[十四] 下個星期三

     My college applications are due next week on Wednesday.  D:  That means that November is ending into December.  That means that the year AD 2011 is about to melt into 2012.  Which means the last time I ever take the AP tests.  Which means the end of high school.  And that means that soon I'm going to start college.  And then the cycle repeats, or the world ends.  Whichever.  hahaha
     I'm going to miss high school life and all the friends I have now.  My applications are going out to UC Los Angeles, UC Berkeley, Yale University, Stanford University, and BYU - Provo.  I'll consider costs after I see which ones I get accepted into.  UCLA is currently my top choice.  Yale and Stanford are a long shot.  UC Berkeley is nice.  BYU is my back-up school.  (I do have friends in that area too that I will be crying just thinking about saying bye to them..  hahaha  Makes me secretly wish I don't get accepted to the other schools. xP)
     I wonder where I'll be a year from now..

[十三] The Hunger Games

Today I just finished reading the first book in a series, The Hunger Games.  Most people have already read it.  I'm actually surprised that I just barely started.  I finished this first book in one day.  it cost me several hours of sleep and homework time:  All well worth it.
Basically, I found this book to be nothing short of amazing.  The story was well told in an easily imaginable setting.  For me the main characters were so easy to relate to.  I was immediately attached to them.  I even cried when Rue died.  hahaha  Don't judge.
The most haunting part for me was the parts preceding the actual Hunger Games.  I couldn't help but run the characters situation through my own head and wonder about how I would deal with the situations.  I kept imagining the people I knew.  And the situations were present so strongly in my own mind that I felt the same anxiety as the characters in the book.  I remember, when I got home from school earlier, I was reaching the part in the story when each of the tributes were being interviewed the day before they were to be sent into the Arena.  As soon as I read the last line of that chapter: "It won't work for me, because she came here with me.", I literally collapsed on the couch in shock because I couldn't bear the thought.

That was probably the most poorly written response to a book that I've ever written.. but it's past midnight and I have to be at school early tomorrow..  and I still want to read more of the second book.. therefore, I don't care.

There's an insight to the dramatic me.  hahaha

[十二] 快瘋掉

There is no deep life story behind this post.  I just want to write.  These are my realizations.

First off:
     - Realization that all of the conversations with my dad since 2008 have gone exactly the same way:
"Hi, *how was work*?"
"Do you have homework?"
"Yea.. *Thanks for answering my question*."
"(Insert 'well just work harder' comment here)"
End conversation.
** As of late I've been omitting this parts of the sentences when speaking to shorten the conversation.

     - Realization that the above will probably never change and frankly, I'm sick of trying to make it change.
Screw it.  It's no longer worth the effort for more disappointment.

     - Realization that Blogs are basically oversized facebook wall posts.
For real.  hahaha  Just fewer viewers and you don't necessarily know what kind of people are reading said wall post.

     - Realization that college application deadlines are approaching.
Not too worried actually.  I'm making good progress on those.  :)

     - Realization the even the most mild anxiety inducing thoughts can occupy my mind for hours on end.
Those anxious thoughts are the 1%..  hahaha  political joke.  >_<

Back story:
     - Realization that: The biggest one on my head has been there for the past couple months now.  Sometimes I'd rather just find out about something now than later, even if said knowledge is potentially heartbreaking.  The problem is that to find such things out usually requires asking which is another big anxiety producer.

     - Realization that I realize the above because of my friend last night.  :(  Sorry PJ.

     - Realization that these realizations are going to drive me insane at some point.

     - Realization that this blog post needs to end now.

     - Realization that this post will not end right now.

     - Realization that this entire post is random.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.
I actually have a purpose to writing whatever I write.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

     - Realization that the above post is a lie.

[11-11-11 11:11] 願望

我希望_______..  ha  我不會寫.  Telling other people something you wish for is supposed to be bad luck right?   xD   Hope it comes true.  ^__^

[十一] 氣球實現願望

In about 12 hours it will be 11-11-11 11:11:11.  (November 11, 2011 11:11:11 [time])  And you know that wish cliche that almost everyone will be participating in?  Yea, I'm doing that too.  hahaha  I have been waiting 17 and a half years for this to happen, so if I miss it: I. Will.  Be.   So.    Upset!  It has been 17.5 years of waiting but I didn't actually think of what to wish for until like 2 months ago.  haha  but do i know know?  Definitely.  ^__^   This is the only time this will happen in my lifetime so Ima be wide awake tomorrow.  And my mind functions on a 24-hour clock. So 11:11 pm just doesn't count for me.  xD  Anyways. YES!  :D  11-11-11 11:11:11!  Don't miss it.  oh even lucky-er: This is the 11th blogpost!   ^__^  Best line-up ever.  hahahahaa!!  Hope everyone's wishes come true!

[十] 語言

Realization that I am studying so many languages.  ^__^  Languages are probably my favorite subjects in school.  I also feel that being multi-lingual is a very important skill to have, one that a lot of people in the United States just don't seem to have..  D:  Languages are like keys.  When you first learn to communicate with your mother as a baby, it opens up a sort of door that allows you to communicate with the rest of the family.  As you go through the stages of picking up your first language, it opens a door to a room filled with even more people that it's now possible to communicate with.  Each new language you pick up is like that: another open door to another whole new group people to meet.  And that fascinates me.  Perhaps I should look into linguistics and foreign language more in college?  But Psychology is really fun also.  haha  Who knows where I ultimately end up at..  It will be fun to find out.  Curious? Here's a list of the languages I'm studying:
-Filipino/Tagalog (First Language)
-English/Engrish (Second Language  xD)
-漢語 (Mandarin)
-한국어 (Korean)
-福建話 (Common Chinese Dialect spoken in the Philippines, mutually intelligible with Taiwanese)
-廣東話 (Cantonese)
-日本語 (Japanese, still in the basics)
-French (Still only know a few words but I've started)

These are the languages I will start eventually:
-Italian (always been fascinated by this one)
-German (sounds easy)
-Spanish (only coz a lot of people in the US speak it)
-Vietnamese (the next difficult one after Korean and Japanese)
-Thai, Cambodian, Lao (don't even know where to begin with these.. but it's a dream I'll go for)
-Malay (the roots of the Filipino language)

I wish i could just instantly speak them all..